Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Sorrow Of Parting--Not So Sweet.

Between this blog and my Facebook posts, there have been plenty of pictures of our trip to Alaska--and plenty of times I've written the words "trip to Alaska," so this post is picture-free and I'm not going to say those words, either.  I'm finding it a bit disconcerting to realize that I have actually relocated so far from anywhere I ever thought I would be.  I'm not unhappy about the move, or about being here, but it kind of wierds me out--how did it really happen?  Did it really happen?  I have a whole new life.  I know the process of getting here was quite real, because it was not an easy thing to do and I felt it being real.  Real hard.  But then again, not hard, really, because I just did things and went to sleep at night and did more things and slept some more and so it went.  And then it was wonderful instead of horrific, which I always knew it would be.

And tonight, it's just kind of strange.  I left Katy and Jon at the hotel and I'm spending my first night in my new temporary abode--a room at the center where I work.  It's almost midnight and I am down in my office typing this and worrying that my clacking on the keyboard might be too loud for the two other people who are here tonight, as well.  One man down the hall from my office who is a resident manager, I guess, for when we have clients staying here.  A woman (a client) upstairs in the room across from the room I will eventually go to sleep in.  I think they gave her the "big" room they said I could use for this first month, and instead have given me two little closet-sized dorm rooms.  I'm keeping "my stuff" in one room and sleeping in another. My office smells like the baby birds my supervisor was tending today in the next office over. Don't tell me I don't live an odd life!

I'm also doing some laundry, because I don't trust that strange bedding is clean enough for me.  This is an old building, the floors creak and I really hope these people don't think a noisy new neighbor has just moved in to disturb their peace!  I am going to be on overdrive, I think, to find my own apartment.  Not that I have any illusions that any part of this experience is in my hands or under my control!

 I think this is going to be a tailor-made experience for me as I think all our experiences in life are, but I mean I think I am going to appreciate it for that.  So, I'm wondering why here, why now and how can I live so far away from my daughter?!  This is Katy and Jon's last night in town before they head back to Utah; I'm putting them on the plane tomorrow at around midnight and I don't think I'm ready for that punch in the gut. 


Penny said...

Yikes! The dryer just buzzed and I nearly jumped out of my skin!

Laura said...

Big huge enormous gargantuan hugs.

Tammie said...

the parting would be hard for me. i'm sure you have to be brave whether you feel like it or not.