Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Spam Lady Dazzles A Really Tall Man

I met this guy in the break room at the studio the other day. He's a bit older and he was wearing a suit and I saw him from the chin down standing out in the hall talking to someone much smaller about golf.
When he came into the break room and fixed a cuppa, I said, "So, are you a golfer?" (Actually, when I saw him out in the hall, I had said under my breath, but still outloud without really realizing what I was doing, "Dang, that man's a giant!" ) He smiled and said, no, he was just covering the game yesterday when a man won a million dollars for sinking a hole in one, or something really outlandish that never happens.
So, then I chatted him up about various and sundry topics and decided he should know my name since we were such good friends now. I was still thinking he was just some Joe with a growth hormone issue. I said, "I'm Penny the Spam Lady, by the way. I'm here to strut my SPAM. I won 3rd place at the state fair, but really mine was the best--shouldda taken first. ." He grinned and said "Of course!" and reached out his humungous hand saying, "Hi, I'm Mark Eaton."
I thought, "I know that name. Is he an anchor on this show or something? Probably I've seen him and he just didn't look so huge sitting behind a news desk." But I didn't really want to show my ignorance, so I said knowingly and funnily--you know--litote, "Oh yeah, I've heard that name, before."
But still not a word about basketball. I hope he thinks I knew and he didn't have to explain, so instead we talked about his two high-end restaurants in SLC, and other food-related topics (this is where I shine, remember!) and then I asked him, "So, do you have a life, or is this your life?" And he laughed--at me, not necessarily with me, I know so you don't have to say it--and told me he had some good managers working with him. Then they called him in to do his golf segment on air and I watched it in the mean-messy break room, which looked like a break room in an industrial factory rather than a television studio, and saw the caption on the screen explaining he was a former Jazz player.
This is what he looks like now:

So tell me. Would you have recognized him? (The tall one.)