Just in case they've forgotten me way up here.
I do have to say, though, that even at this time of year, the homesickness is bearable. It must be the Alaska air. Couldn't be that I'm old enough to have lived long enough to understand enough to know enough. Could it? Actually, tonight it is less bearable than it has been and I think it's because I broke down and decided to do some holiday cooking. We're having a party at work tomorrow. Since I've been here I haven't brought any of my mad culinary skills to light. Have felt neither the need nor the desire.
But I brought with me on my trip up here some of the jars of green tomato mince pie filling I canned in Utah where I could get all that fresh and hearty local produce. I'm pretty sure my rustic pie will not be completely consumed at the dinner tomorrow because people just don't know good pie when its set before them. Because it's not pumpkin. Never mind that it has great Willard Montmorency dried cherries and Meyer lemons with zest and peel and Aunt Yvette's pears and apples and yes, even green tomatoes in it. Freshly ground-from-whole spices. Riverdale Gideon's honey and brown sugar. Why, I think it's even better than homemade Amish apple butter and that's some statement coming from me.
(Remember, I said it was rustic.)
I bought a Tur-Duc-Ken, too, for the first time. Hooo-eeee, but that was spendy! I might even have to like it at that price, whether I want to or not. We'll see.
It's not just the food, of course, that heightens the awareness of my being "all alone" up here in this frozen land. (I have never heard such noisy snow, by the way. Walking on it cancels out any other sound. Driving on it sounds like the gears are grinding. Is it because it's such cold snow?)
The fact that I am all alone up here has at least a little to do with my flashing melancholy. I miss Katy and Jon, probably the most...and the little kids in the family...and the big kids, too. I miss my mom and my siblings and in-laws. Old friends. I miss the neuroses that burst upon the scene at this time.
Right. I'm not really all alone. I have friends. I have invitations. I have those interesting voices in my head. I'm happy.